Don't forget the positives.

When I got home today from school I started telling James about my day and by the end up it I realized that he was looking kinda upset. I asked him what was wrong, and he half smiled and said that I had just rattled off a list of the day's bad spots. I realized that I had completely forgot to mention the part about hanging my artwork in a group show, which went really well.

Lately, I have been getting so stuck on the negatives. For this particular occasion I think I may be coming down with a cold, or at least fighting it off. That always leaves me a bit drained. So I'm doubling up on my vitamin C and taking my vitamins and going to give myself some extra care.

In general though, I think it's just so easy to get stuck on the bad stuff of life, so over the next week I'm going to be paying careful attention to this, and hopefully can kick the habit. In life I think it's all about what you do with the bad stuff that helps determine where your life goes and the quality of it. I for one would prefer to have a happy life, so I'm not going to get stuck on the low points, but instead try to transform those moments. That's my goal at least . Stay positive.

Artwork Up.

Today I installed a piece of artwork at school for a group art show. It feels good to be doing something so familiar and something I know very well. I chose to display a piece that I think I wrote about earlier, the bindle stick or "hobo bag". The reception for the show is next week, so I will take a picture then and post it up.

It feels good to be focused on something other than my feelings for a change. I'm really looking forward to the end of the semester.

Therapist, I am not.

While it's been a while since I've written here, it has mostly been because I have been in a bit of a mental debate. I have decided to take next semester off from school to reconsider whether I want to be a therapist or not. While I feel like I had consider this before, there is nothing like the experience to show one the opposite.

Over the last 2 months I have been working at Tewksbury State hospital, which I was really excited about, until I started. And it was probably after I learned of the severity of the patients problems that I started to realize that I do not want to be trying to heal these people. While I do want to make the world a better place, I am not sure I want to do it this way. I am a very sensitive and emotional person and doing this work leaves me drained and depressed.

So my plan is to get a job after I return from Florida and to work and make art. I'll be staying in Boston because there are still a lot more opportunities up here than in Florida. In addition, this will give me the option to continue the program if I realize that it is where I want to be. I've also been looking at another program at my school called "Community Arts" which is a masters in Education. It's a shorter program and would redirect my work back to the type of work that I had been doing. I think education is a better place for me.

I'll keep you updated on the process. Right now I'm feeling really good about this decision, and everyone at school has been really supportive too. It was difficult at first to not feel like I had failed, but the truth is that I'm glad I tried it and would have never really known otherwise.