Last months of my 20's

I've come to realize over the last few years that this process of leaving my 20's has some real implications for concern and reflection. I have around 5 months left and feel myself starting to kick into critique mode. Am I happy with where I am in my life? What do I want to accomplish in my life?

I have always been a very driven person, and some of my friends have encouraged me to slow down, but I like this pace. I like to feel accomplished and to push myself (even though at times it drives me nuts). In general, I like to keep things moving. I feel the clock ticketing and want to get the most of out this life.

If I look at 30 from my 25 year old self I am somewhat surprised by the amount of time things take. At that age I was also more excited to reach this age, because I had so many friends that were turning 30. I was also hopeful that I would have more figured out and I suppose I do, but it all hasn't gone as planned. Certain things that I thought I would have accomplished by now I haven't, like starting my own family, a more developed career path, more money in the bank, the list goes on. However, I am in the process of all of those things, which is a great place to be. It turns out that things just take longer than I thought they would.

I did accomplish some things that I planned on: being engaged, finishing my master's degree, starting a career, leaving Florida, and I'm sure there are more.

And then there are things I accomplished that I wasn't ever planning on doing: learning to run, completing a 5K race, completing a triathlon, living in California, learning to drive a bus, getting my MFA, being someone's boss, being able to give someone a job, and confronting countless fears.

As I get closer to 30, I am starting to accept it. It will be a new chapter of the same book with more twists and turns. I will keep making lists, setting goals and accessing my trajectory. I will have to accept that there are many things that I will not do while in my 20's, but really those were also tough times. I learned some hard lessons in my 20's that I am happy to be leave behind.

In February of 2013 I will update on the visceral changes and realizations that come with being a little older and hopefully wiser.

Florida Trip - May 2010

Best Buddies on the Beach



Hollywood Beach Brunch with Lynlee


Mother's Day with Mom



As I mentioned in my last post, I recently visited Florida. With only 1 week to see friends, family and meet James' family for the first time as his fiance, the trip was really packed. I didn't get to see everyone I wanted, but I did get in some much needed lady time, with some of my favorite ladies.

We arrived the day before Mother's Day. Luckily one of my best friends was off that weekend. Lynlee and I spent the whole weekend together, and even got in a sleepover. That sacred lady time was reinvigorating. I also had the chance to see Alison, who I hadn't seen in at least a year. Another highlight was my first pedicure with Lynlee and Tera. Seeing my mom on Mother's Day turned out to be really nice, and I appreciated catching up with her. Some of the last people I saw were Andrea and Sarah. This was a real treat because Andrea is moving to Tallahasse this summer to start Law School.

Visiting James's family is always nice, but this visit was especially important since we are engaged now. We were both wished much happiness, and they have all welcomed me into the family with open arms.

Seeing Grampie was a fun treat. We did our usually, just like I was still living next store, only it was much too abbreviated.

Lastly, I sadly didn't get to see my brother, or my dad for a second time. Unfortunately, time was short and didn't allow the quality time that was needed. Next visit I will surely have to make more time for them. I did however get some much needed lady time, with my favorite ladies. Thanks for a great visit Florida - see you in December!

Looking Back and Moving Forward

Aventura - Miami Townhouse - Lived there 2+ years


James' Family's House - lived there part time


Last Family House for the Crooke's

A few weeks ago James found out that he would be attending school out here, thus we would be staying in Los Angeles for 3-4 more years. This reality was a tough one to swallow, as I really still consider Fort Lauderdale to be my home. The solution to this problem - visit Florida to see the difference and try to remember why I left. I had one week to visit my family, ,friends and see James' family for the first time as his fiance.

One of my goals when I was there to take pictures of the last 2 houses I lived in, as well as my last family house. This process was about preserving those fond times in my life and remembering that those times have past, and that I am creating new memories, as I am now in another stage of my life. The pictures in this post show those different locations. Of chose they are all slightly different then they were when I lived there, but that too is a great reminder that time has pasted.

While in Florida I felt reinvigorated, and inspired about the path that I am on. Leaving Florida was partially about school, but a lot about finding myself and creating my life the way I want to live it. I was reminded of the small scale of Florida when I was there and the limited options. I really enjoy the diversity of where I live.

So while my plans have greatly changed since I have left Florida, especially in terms of school, I am still on a path that is developing, graduate degree or not. I still believe that I will get through graduate school, and find a career path that I feel strongly about, but in the meantime I am loving California and the awesome nature it provides.