Job Time

With great fortune I was able to land a full time job out of graduate school, with an MFA no less. It has now been 5 weeks of full-time employment with the organization called Exceptional Children's Foundation. This job comes with full-benefits that the organization pays half of and vacation time. My position is the Site Supervisor at their downtown art studio location. I am responsible for supervising 35 adult students with disabilities and 6 instructors.

I should really be thrilled, but alas I am not. I find myself unhappy working with this population and feel that there is still yet something calling me. Transitioning from the intellectual world of graduate school to social services where I work with limited intellectual capacities has been very difficult. At the very least I think I should be doing public programming or community building, like the job I left that couldn't really pay me for what I was doing.

Another part of the discontentment is the mission of the program. There is a strong focus on the art product that is being produced and not the process of art making. For a lot of the clients there is also a lack of intellectual understanding that makes the workings of the program border on the line of unethical. However, I took the job 1) for the need and 2) to see if there was anyway that I could improve the program.

In the meantime this job is supplying me with stable money and the time to look for other jobs, contemplate what is important to me, and otherwise motivate me to continue my quest. I long for the day that I will feel content with my contribution to the world; to feel as though I have found my place. I am told that this takes time and to be patient. I hear that, but also don't want to waste time doing things that do not connect to my life path.

I took this current job with reservation, but felt that it was the most responsible thing to do at the time. I also knew that there was something to learn from this job. This position is the first full-time management job that I have held. I am patiently waiting, looking and organizing for the time when this job will be over. An unfortunate feeling, but also a realistic one. Sometimes only time will tell.